#elxn42 Limericks for Canada - Ode to those who hate Canada

Ode to those who hate Canada - based on an exchange I had with a security outside a place of worship in Toronto whose attendees had defaced an election sign with the Prime Minister upon it. When I asked the security guard who had done it and when, he simply replied "I guess they hate Canada".

There was a good man called Harper

As a PM, Canada has had none sharper

He saved the economy

Had a moral foreign policy

Which upsets those who hate Canada

#elxn42 Limericks for Canada - Reasons to run for Prime Minister

Ode to Junior Trudeau's reasons for running for Prime Minister

A silver spoon baby who is unready

Because he is so empty heady

Said I’ll be Prime Minister

I once was a teacher

And sleep in my old Sussex Drive 4 post beddy

#elxn42 Limericks for Canada - Jihadi Vote pandering

Ode to Jihadi vote pandering

There once was a drama teacher from Vancouver

Who wanted to be a Prime Minister

I support the Iran deal

With all of my zeal

It will get me votes in Mississauga

#elxn42 Limericks for Canada - Putin on the Ritz

Ode to Justine's scolding of Putin

There once was a kid called Justin

Who spoke about Vladimir Putin

Bad Vlad just laughed 

The showed him his aft

And ignored the teacher’s loud tuttin’

#Elxn42 Limericks for Canada - Justin's Jihadi Jaunts

Ode to Justin's Jihadi Jaunts & advisor

There was a young man from Canada

Whose close advisor is Omar Alghabra

A Calgary pogrom

Is absolutely no problem

For those who enable hezbollah

Negotiating with Iran: 101

Here's how negotiations with Iran should have gone:

Free World: You are developing nuclear weapons. Stop it & hand over the weapon material.

Iran: No, we are not.

Free World: We know you are, and have found your secret undisclosed nuclear bases.

Iran: No, we built that fortified factory under a mountain to produce goat cheese.

Free World: Hand over the nuclear weapon material, or we will take it from you.

Iran: If you like your goat cheese, you can get your goat cheese.

Free World: We are coming to take the nuclear weapons from you. Goodbye.

Iran: OK, here's the nuclear weapon stuff.

Everything you need to know about 2015 Pan Am/Parapan Am Games

I was going to leave a blank page originally, then I thought that would be confusing. So here is everything I could find that was remotely interesting about the Pan Am/Parapan Am Games 2015.

They are being held around the Greater Toronto Area. In July.

The mascot is a rainbow tinged porcupine.

A new velodrome has been built in the middle of nowhere.

A big swimming pool has been built somewhere.

A new 24,000 seat stadium has been built and has 212 parking spaces.

There's a BMX track in a park. BMX is when people ride bikes that are too small for them, they pedal furiously and try to fly off ramps. City has been crying out for a BMX

Ontario taxpayers paid $10.6 million to cover the travel costs of athletes actually coming, otherwise they wouldn't have bothered.

I have met 2 people who have bought tickets. Actually bought tickets and paid real money, as opposed to those who have been given them for free by Members of the Provincial Parliament or local councillors.

N.B. "For free" actually means the Ontario taxpayers have paid for those tickets.

That's all folks.